There have been so many things going on inside my head lately. There's too much worry, self-doubt, self-condemnation, comparison in my life right now. I never feel like I'm a good enough mom or wife, everyone else has it together but me, I struggle with my weight and on top of it, my children are growing too fast for me to keep track of! I've been on an organization kick lately, cleaning and reorganizing spaces that I think need it. I came across a drawer in our closet organizer that I kept shoving pics into. I don't have time to scrapbook and try my hardest to keep up with this blog- I know it won't mean a "hill of beans" to my boys when they are older but it keeps me going and gives me a hobby/outlet. In this drawer of overflowing pictures, I found some of the boys when they were 4 and 2 and some of Jordan (who is now 12) when he was a baby! Ouch, that hurt my heart so much, where has the time gone. Have I been too worried about being the "perfect" mom/wife that I missed the moments right before my eyes? I will never be good enough, perfection is something only Jesus achieved. I have to remember that He's in control of my life, not me. My self-doubt, comparison, etc.. is not why He died on the cross. There is so much more to this life than all those labels I place on myself. I just have to make myself believe it and just not think it/write it/say it! One day I will overcome those labels, I'm a work in progress. I thank God daily for His grace and mercy- I definitely need it!
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